As a new mom, there are SO many things that I wish I knew prior to being pregnant. Not because I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant, but because I wanted to be fully prepared for all of the things that were about to take place. Obviously everyone will try to bestow some wisdom on you — from family to friends to people at the grocery store to a random Facebook friend you actually aren’t even friends with in real life, so now you’re about to delete them — anyways, what I’m trying to say is that every single person is going to try & give you (unsolicited) advice. But here are the top five things that I wish I heard or already knew about my pregnancy.
- You don’t always have to take their advice:
I really wish that I didn’t stress myself out with all the advice that was being thrown at me. When you are pregnant with your first child, let me tell you that
sh*tis SO overwhelming already. So to have everyone from family to your best friend who’s never had a baby to strangers at the grocery store telling you what to do or what to expect it’s really hard to not want to punch someone in the face at times (blame the hormones, right?). But I’m here to tell you it’s okay to politely forget all of the things people tell you. Don’t feel bad if you don’t agree with what Jane from Trader Joes told you. Take everything with a grain of salt. Step back, take a breather, & remember that women were made for this pregnancy gig. The only person I recommend to *kind of* listen to is your mother. After all, she brought you into this world!
- You’re going to be in pain…BEFORE giving birth:
Okay, what? I’m going to be in pain BEFORE giving birth? I had absolutely no idea that I was going to experience the aches & pains that I did while pregnant. My body was sore in places I never knew existed. My hips were constantly on fire every single night to where I had to wrap my entire leg around Matthew & suffocate him (sorry, babe!). Along with that, I started getting carpal tunnel. I wasn’t able to chop veggies or even text sometimes. It even affected my driving because I wasn’t able to grip the steering wheel like I usually do. It was very, very frustrating. The only thing that helped? Massages…lots & lots of ’em.
- It’s okay to not feel happy:
In the past, I have struggled with anxiety & depression. So of course I was expecting for those two things to make their way back into my life. I was constantly anxious about everything. I was worried, scared, & nervous. I think it mainly had to do with me wanting to make sure I did everything I could to keep Braxton safe in the womb. But it got to the point where I would get very sad because I felt like I wasn’t doing much. I would feel worthless at times, but then I had so much good energy around me. Everyone was always lifting me up & making me feel like I was doing something amazing – & I was! I was nurturing a little tiny human inside of me, & the thought of holding my baby boy for the first time was always “my happy place” I would go to whenever I felt gloomy. Just know that it is okay to not be happy 24/7 like other preggos you see. However, don’t be afraid to seek help if you feel alone!
- Size does not matter:
Get your mind out of the gutter for this one, please. What I mean by this is do NOT be so self-conscious about that growing bump of yours. I know I’ve cringed every time people saw my belly & would jokingly ask if I was having twins (please note that this is actually kind of rude to say, so don’t say it!). Every woman, every baby, & every pregnancy is different. You might be carrying high or low. You might be smaller than someone who is farther along than you or maybe you’re bigger than them, but who cares! You are doing what you’re supposed to do. You are nurturing your baby & providing a safe home for them regardless how big or how small that home may be. Keep on rubbing that baby bump & enjoy it because it’s true when they say you’ll miss it.
- Enjoy it:
When I was pregnant, I really wish that I was able to enjoy it more. I was so miserable that whole year that I slightly feel ashamed of myself for feeling that way. I wanted to be that woman who was happy-go-lucky & glowing every day. I wanted to feel good. But I think I was just struggling with my physical & mental health so much that it consumed my entire mind. So if you were like me, please try your best to enjoy it! Take a lot of pictures of you & your bump. Go to places where you’ll eventually take your babe one day. & really just take it all in. You (& your partner) have been blessed to bring in an angel to this world. Write about your daily experiences or even write to your little one. Whatever it is you decide to do, make sure it’s something positive & productive! & remember, the pain is temporary & this is only the beginning!
I really wish I had known these five things, but with my next pregnancy (which is way, way later in life) I will try to implement this top five list. Pregnancy is tough…really, really tough. But the outcome is so incredibly worth it. If you are a preggo, a mother, or thinking about getting preggo, & you feel like you can relate to this leave a comment about some things you feel aren’t commonly talked about. Or if you just want someone to talk to, please feel free to contact me! It is always nice to have someone to go to especially when you feel alone. I am a great listener! Good luck to all of you who are starting the ever so beautiful journey of motherhood!
Aloha nui loa,